inside of me.

Bitch, I hope you don’t sleep all night. Can’t even fucking sign a permission slip for me? Ok.

honestly, in a crowded room, there are times when i feel completely invisible. like i’m not there. i feel as if i’m in the background watching everything happen.

i could be with a group of friends and feel completely isolated.

no one goes the extra mile for me. i wish someone would though.

I’m doing it for myself, and no one else.

Maybe when I’m finally confident in myself, I’ll be able to talk to you. I’ll fix myself and make myself a priority before you.

:(

why why why why why

WHYYYYYYY

I just want to talk to you.

I have this whole scene plotted into my head.

I’ll talk to you.

But no, that won’t happen. 

I don’t understand. I can talk to anyone in the world. I could probably say more to Obama than to you if I had the chance.

lol, reading that made me remember why i hated the two of you. wtf, why do i still talk to you people? you’re rude and ignorant and you only care about yourselves.

I’m not sure what to do with myself. I’m a mess. Fuck it, I’ll only be happy when I’m dead.

And of course, I failed myself. Starting over tomorrow I guess.

I understand this will take time and patience, but I hate waiting and I’m not a very patient person. :/

I miss you. Everything about you. Your cute little smile. How you go to bed the same time a nursing home would. The way you smell. How sensitive you are to kids. How shy you got around me. How shy I got around you. I just miss every little detail. I hate how much my life used to evolve around you in just that short little amount of time. This sucks. And you suck.

I have never felt so good about myself. No regrets. Now I just have to keep going until I reach my goal and not give up. :’)

Maybe this will just be my little secret, for now.

“Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” -John Wooden